


Hey, don't write yourself off yet.

by Mothman_plays_the_drums



Series: The Middle (And How You Do Your Best Within It.) [2]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hongjoong is pining, Hongjoong thinks he's a rebound, M/M, Seonnhwa is a confident gay, The sequel to Seongjoong meet in a gas station, he is not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:48:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25890859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mothman_plays_the_drums/pseuds/Mothman_plays_the_drums
Summary: Nearly a year after Seonghwa ran away from his wedding to live in a small town with his best friend, Hongjoong wonders what he really means to Seonghwa.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: The Middle (And How You Do Your Best Within It.) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878805
Comments: 8
Kudos: 75





	Hey, don't write yourself off yet.

**Author's Note:**

> HIIIII post of the night number 2. If you enjoy this, feel free to leave a comment!!!

It's been months. 

Hongjoong was right, it's been terrible for Seonghwa, trying to get back on his feet. He's spent one too many nights (in his opinion) starving and anxious about what tomorrow may bring.

He was also right, though, about finally being free to be completely himself. Granted, that does come with its own set of issues, but it's better than he's ever been, and Hongjoong and Yunho have been there the whole time. 

What a life it's been, with no one but himself, Yunho, and Hongjoong.

~~~

Hongjoong could watch Seonghwa sleep like this for hours. They're supposed to be hanging out, driving around together just to spend time with each other, but Hongjoong will excuse it, like he does every time, because Seonghwa worked a big shift today, and now might be the first chance he's gotten to sleep. So, instead of driving around the lake like they were going to, Hongjoong finds a spot to park where he can watch the sunset (or rather, observe Seonghwa's natural beauty, where he sits, asleep in Hongjoong's car,) in peace.

He's not sure when Seonghwa had interlaced their fingers while they were driving, but the contact makes him feel warm and fuzzy as he looks over Hwa's soft face and how loosely he's holding on. Really, who could blame Hongjoong for falling so helplessly in love with him? Even if he knows that he's only Seonghwa's rebound.

Maybe he's just a fluffy little play thing, some soft place to land until Seonghwa can regather himself to find someone worth his time, but Hongjoong can live with that. He can deal with the inevitable hurt that will come when Seonghwa finds someone he actually wants to spend his life with. He just wishes it didn't hurt so damn much already.

He wishes Seonghwa weren't so gentle with him, or that he wouldn't drag Hongjoong out of his house every once in a while to go get something healthy, wishes Seonghwa wouldn't care so much about his health, and treat him like a lover, and touch him so gently that Hongjoong could be so stupid to think Seonghwa is his. It hurts in nearly every way possible, the way Seonghwa's touch always sets Hongjoong's skin alight as if he isn't already burning to the ground with every second.

But, Hongjoong chooses to live with it today, and tomorrow, and for as long as Seonghwa will let him live in this daydream.

Softly, he leans over the center console and presses a kiss onto Seonghwa's forehead, only to be surprised when a hand reaches up to cup his cheek. The hand has him jolting back for a moment, before he recognizes it to be Seonghwa's, and reluctantly relaxes back into the hold. "Sorry," he whispers, "I didn't mean to wake you."

Seonghwa smiles back, a sleepy, cloud-nine ish smile. Hongjoong may just be smoldering from the inside out. "Don't be. It was a nice feeling to wake up to, and you could've woken me up before," he answers with a voice that sounds rough and weak from sleep.

"Well I know you need the sleep."

"Says you." 

No, Hongjoong decides, it's not the way his heart wrenches every time Seonghwa lays a finger on him that will cause him to die. It's that damned smirk. The smirk is one he wears as he sits up fully in his seat and glances over at Hongjoong. 

He totally catches Hongjoong staring at him, frozen.

He quips, "what? See something you like?" And curse Hongjoong's short circuiting brain, because he stays frozen for far too long, before he nods. He's an idiot. A big headed, lovesick idiot.

Thank fuck Seonghwa seems to go along with it. 

"That's cute, baby. That's really, really fucking cute." Hongjoong thinks he'll suffocate, actually. Seonghwa's hand comes to cup his jaw and pull his face closer, and Joong has never looked at a man and felt so helplessly giddy. 

Oh, it will hurt when Seonghwa leaves.

Hongjoong decidedly doesn't think about it. "I… I love this," he tells Seonghwa, point blank.

"I love you."

"Don't say that."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to find out in a few months that you didn't mean it."

"Why wouldn't I mean it?" 

Oh, this isn't how he imagined it. It'd kept him up a million different ways, each time a different scenario, and each just as heartbreaking as the one before, how hadn't he thought of this? Some special torment, maybe. Some divine punishment for some dastardly thing he'd done in a past life. Give him the perfect man, gorgeous and caring and receptive to just how touch starved Hongjoong really is, and rip him away far before Hongjoong's ready. 

He's crying before he even feels it coming, hands reaching out to grab at Hwa's shirt before halting before he can even touch him. It's months and months of building anxiety all bubbling to the surface at the realization that this really is it. Seonghwa will know Hongjoong is in too deep, and then it's over. This whole daydream that Hongjoong is far too used too will come crashing down, it's finally time for Seonghwa to give up.

It doesn't help that Seonghwa scrambles out of the car and around to Hongjoong's side to hold him. The gentle hands that have become a nearly religious show of peace in his life wipe away his tears and whisper pretty things to him and give Hongjoong what he needs. Hongjoong only cries harder at the thought. 

"What's wrong, baby?" 

Hongjoong doesn't even think about how selfish it is that he clings to Seonghwa at the words, silently begs for Seonghwa to read his mind. He wants to hear Seonghwa say he loves him again, he wants him to mean it, it's so selfish. 

Seonghwa doesn't even hesitate to do his best, he leans against the seat and gathers Hong into his arms. He's so good to Hongjoong. God, maybe the divine punishment was ever introducing the two.

~~~

Eventually, Hongjoong does calm down enough to… somewhat explain. He explains what he can without sounding creepy, or weird.

At the end, Seonghwa stares in shock.

"Hongjoong…"

Hongjoong thought he had cried all his tears out earlier. He is wrong, and it shows when he tears up again as he fumbles to explain, "I- I know, this was a lot to drop on- well, you just- you don't have to- to say anything back- you can… you can ask me to drop you off.. never talk to you again.. whatever you wa-"

"Hongjoong, you're such an idiot."

Hongjoong chances a look at him, sporting watery puppy eyes that make him look so fucking cute to Seonghwa. "I… I know…" 

"No," Seonghwa giggles, taking Hongjoong's hands in his own, "No, don't talk about yourself like that. You don't mean it how I mean it."

"Wha-"

"Baby, how did you not know I love you?"

"I don't- I dunno- I-" tears run over Hongjoong's cheeks again, and Seonghwa wipes them away again.

Suddenly, it's all too much. It's hard to process what Seonghwa is saying in tandem to what he's feeling and all of his fears before tonight.

Seonghwa loves him.

It's the scariest idea in the world.

"Shhhh, Joongie, don't cry," Seonghwa assures him, voice broken up by giddy giggles and lips becoming occupied with kissing Hongjoong's cheeks, forehead and lips. 

"S-Seonghwa, I… please.. please tell me you love me again. Please, please. I want it, please." 

And Seonghwa complies, over and over again, over the course of years, until the words coming out of Seonghwa's mouth become more of a gentle reminder than a rude awakening 

I love you.


End file.
